I'm tired.

I'm tired of being the victim of ridicule.

You're psychotic.
You are okay with hurting me.

You're inconsiderate.
You are okay with heartache.

You're selfish.
You are okay with leaving.

Who are you to say you love me?
Who are you to say you care?
Who are YOU?

It's Past Christmas.

It's past Christmas, and my tree is still up.
It's past Christmas, and my stockings are still hung.
It's past Christmas, and there are still Christmas songs playing.

Look at the date.
It's New Years Eve.
Happy New Year!
It's time to go home.

Oh look, the tree is STILL up.
What're we going to do with it?
BURN IT!
CHOP IT!
TEAR IT TO THE GROUND!

"Nope...it's staying up till January 8th!" Mom says.

But Mom, it's past Christmas.

Put The Past Behind

It's frustrating enough to go through each day impressing you and making you like me.
It's infuriating enough that you can't get past the shit that has happened.
It's ridiculous you can't let something THAT DOESN'T AFFECT YOU in any way possible.

It's stupid.

It kills me enough that you can't let this weak girl to grow up.
It destroys me enough that you just sit there and torment him with your accusations.
It sickens me that you, his mother, won't allow him to be happy.

It's really dumb.

Can you explain to me why she's worth it?
Why does she have this effect on you where you hurt your son?
Can you not see how happy he is without her?
Can you not?

Open your eyes.
Open your God damn eyes.
Look what you're doing...

You're being really idiotic.

Malfunction.

So it's finals week at my school.
Let me say, that it sucks. Honestly.

It's all about the excitement of getting out just a couple hours earlier
and the nervousness of your overall academic accomplishments.

Some are easy.
Some are impossible.
Can you believe its only day one?

My brain feels like its about to internally combust.
My motor skills are slowing.
My speech is slurring.
My vision's blurring.
Mt stomach stirring.

Shoot, almost as if I'm just malfunctioning.

A Precious Soul.

Today I lost an amazing friend.

He was kind.
He was funny.
He was trustworthy.
He was an overall great person.

I've never once heard a bad thing about him.

He brought a smile to everyone's face.
He would give you advice.
He would even make your day better then before.

I honestly didn't expect it.

But all things happen for a reason.

You will forever be in our hearts, our minds, and our prayers.

I'm sure Heaven is a Hell of alot better then here.
I bet it has everything you EVER wanted.
Like mac and cheese with hot dogs.
Or some Tech N9ne.

I miss you.

R.I.P Travis Hannah

Windows

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
But what do you see when you look into my eyes?
Can you see my fears? My memories? My personality?

If I look at my own eyes, all I see is 2 blue and green oceans
with yellow spikes surrounding a black hole.
I see nothing that relates to myself.

But when you look through my two windows, you see something beautiful.
You see a soul waiting to break through.
You see a smile when tears roll down my cheeks.
You see everything that I, myself, can not.

You see through my eyes to another world that I imagine to be perfect.

Burning down the houses.

The flames start with a tiny spark.
The wind brings the spark to life and it grows to a flame.
The flame swallows the dead field and begins to spread like a fatal plague.

All my oxygen taken away from my own lungs
and replaced with toxin, grey smoke.
My inhaling of poison throws my heart off track and looses its perfect beat.

It's all over.
There goes my world.